OLD ZERO https://validator.w3.org/feed/docs/rss2.html New Balance’s new sneaker is just a fruit punch in disguise Spotify’s AI pitch: because even robots need a personal shopper A documentary about a CEO’s downfall might beat a movie about a guy who turns into clay Spotify’s QR code check-in: because trust is for the weak Santa’s new express lane: because waiting is for the weak Shark Pose Leads To A Lot More Than Just A Selfie Tranchopalooza: The new fundraising game where everyone’s guessing King Midas’ recipe, but make it $15 a can She’s not just cleaning stones—she’s curating death LeBron’s anthem routine: golf practice or performance art? A chicken thief with a space visa? Probably not. A sock over a $100 mic now earns $60 million When a player collapses, the only thing more mysterious than the injury is the silence SoFi’s new tokenized deposits: money that’s both digital and… still kind of boring? When in doubt, say ‘not to my knowledge’ Railway tells everyone to throw away their keys, just in case AI agent won’t book your tickets, but it’ll do your taxes Prada’s 1913 Satiro Bag: A Century of Satyrs and Sales New York’s AI training program is a rocket ship for the working class Player pulls gun after football fight, proves you can’t out-angry a veteran Oil prices are up, but the real crisis is how we keep pretending this makes sense Kenan Thompson wants to ‘sit Shane Gillis down’ for a ‘real chat’ Databricks opens Abu Dhabi office, because data is the new oil Skateboarding legend grinds Wall Street, proving health is the ultimate flex A list of 20,000 suspected noncitizens is more confusing than a voter registration form Gap Inc. gets an award for being good at what it’s always done Elon Musk can’t vote on his own merger Rockstar turns ‘piss water’ into a real beer Leather notebooks now come with a side of weather-related puns Stella McCartney’s equine therapy is more than just a metaphor NFL says it did everything right, but the union still wants to check Legal AI startup raises $550M to help lawyers not be lazy LIV Golf’s player list is shorter than a last-minute tee time Rogers says tariffs are a ‘mixed bag’—but Trump’s still mad Walmart’s AI agents: More controlled than a teenager’s credit card Aisle 8’s new boss brings 21 people, not just a new title Tommy Bahama’s new tagline: ‘Drink ’em with or without bait.’ Men’s room soap remains untouched, proving they’re not just lazy Hermès’ Asia slump is like a party where no one shows up Tesla’s robot factory is open, but its profits are closed Burna Boy’s sneakers are so monochrome, they’re basically a fashion statement against color Billionaires don’t need a beach house—they need a beach house with a beach. U2’s ticket pricing: The rich get richer, the rest get confused A ‘culture change’ that sounds like a bad HR policy Noodles’ health issue is ‘fairly serious’—but not serious enough for details A kick, a handshake, and a very confused fan A 13-cent tip is not a tip, it’s a taunt Brady’s Deflategate refusal was a masterclass in control AI shopping app makes users spend $200 without touching a credit card Maryland called cops on student journalists. No report was filed.