Pumpkin spice pouches banned, but the flavor stays

The story

Schools are banning caffeine pouches, which contain as much caffeine as two cups of coffee, due to health and safety concerns, though their exact impact on students remains unclear.

Source: fortune.com

Our reading

The schools’ ban on caffeine pouches is a noble attempt to protect students, but it’s also a bit of a head-scratcher. After all, if you’re a kid trying to stay awake during algebra, you’re not exactly looking for a health advisory. The pouches are so discreet, they’re basically the school’s version of a stealthy energy drink. And now, with the ban, students have to find another way to stay alert—probably by staring at the clock until it gives up and goes to sleep.

But here’s the pouches are marketed in flavors like pumpkin spice and fruit. That’s not just a snack—it’s a full-blown sensory experience. You can imagine a student, mid-lesson, suddenly craving a burst of cinnamon and caffeine, only to realize the teacher is watching and the clock is still ticking.

So the school bans the pouches, but the flavor names stay. It’s like banning a snack but leaving the menu. The students might not be getting their caffeine, but they’re still getting their marketing.