Source: Fox News
Summary
Experts describe “quiet quitting” in marriage as a gradual reduction in emotional effort, communication, or involvement, without formally ending the relationship. New York City divorce lawyer James Sexton said this behavior can feel easier than divorce and may lead to emotional disconnection. Dr. Mindy DeSeta, a clinical sexologist, noted that disconnection often develops over time as couples live separate lives. She identified four relationship principles to address emotional distance. Both experts suggested small, active steps to rekindle connection, such as sending messages or revisiting past memories. They warned that indifference, not conflict, is a greater warning sign in relationships.
Our Reading
This guidance has been heard before.
Experts describe a pattern that feels familiar.
Emotional disconnection is framed as a quiet, gradual process.
Small gestures are presented as solutions.
Indifference is positioned as the opposite of love.
Author: Evan Null
Quiet Quitting in Marriage
“Quiet quitting” in marriage refers to a gradual reduction in emotional effort, communication, or involvement, according to experts. The term is not a clinical diagnosis but describes a behavior where spouses remain together while pulling away emotionally. New York City divorce lawyer James Sexton described the phenomenon as a way to avoid the “trauma” of divorce, allowing individuals to avoid appearing as the “bad guy.” He said that disconnection can be more concerning than frequent conflict, as it signals indifference rather than hatred.
Signs of Emotional Disconnection
Dr. Mindy DeSeta, a clinical sexologist, said that emotional disconnection can develop over time as couples live increasingly separate lives. This may include different routines, friend groups, and schedules. She noted that when couples stop spending time together, they may begin to drift apart. The lack of effort in a relationship can be a bigger warning sign than frequent conflict, as it indicates a lack of engagement. DeSeta identified four relationship principles to address this issue.
Reconnecting Through Small Gestures
Experts suggest that reconnection often requires small, active steps rather than grand gestures. Sexton encouraged couples to revisit simple acts, such as sending sweet messages or writing notes. He said that these actions can remind partners of what they appreciate about each other. DeSeta also emphasized the importance of asking personal questions and being present during one-on-one time. She warned that using a phone during shared moments can signal emotional distance, making the device “the third member of the relationship.”
Focus on What You Like
Sexton advised couples to focus on what they like about each other rather than complaints. He suggested recalling positive memories and recreating them. This approach, he said, can help remind partners of the qualities that initially attracted them. DeSeta added that making an active effort to flirt and show interest can boost mood and signal continued romantic engagement. She emphasized that caring for a partner in subtle ways can break the cycle of emotional disconnection.
Time Together Is Limited
Sexton reminded couples that time together is finite and should not be taken for granted. He said that illness or tragedy should not be the reason to rekindle a relationship. Instead, he encouraged couples to make the most of the time they have. He emphasized that people are “loaned” to us, not permanently gifted. This perspective highlights the importance of valuing and maintaining relationships while they last.
